8 Things I Wish I Knew Before I Started Dressing Alternatively

Throwback to my second Harajuku Fashion Walk in 2017.

 

Dressing alternatively in any form takes some extra effort and often lacks guidance. While people in alternative fashion communities have tackled topics like how to dress in a particular style or where to find clothes, I’d like to share the advice and warnings I wish I had known before I started dressing alternatively.

Note: These are general tips that can apply to people in a diversity of fashion subcultures, but I will primarily be using examples from the kawaii community since that is where I reside.

1. It’s okay to start slow and small

Matt Burne did a great video called The Myth of ‘I Don’t Have’ where he talks about how we often tell ourselves “I don’t have this, so I can’t do that.” “I don’t have all this kawaii clothing, so I can’t  even begin to dress cute.” If you hear yourself thinking something like this, shut up. Shut the hell up and walk to your wardrobe and think about how this thing might look cuter if you wear it this way, or if you buy one item of clothing you’ll be able to coordinate it several ways with stuff you already have. As an example, here’s some pictures of me with my old macaroon dress styled several ways from my early days:

I'm aware that the backwards peace sign is offensive in some parts of the world and I apologise.

Obviously I was very new to Harajuku fashion and you’ll notice a number of repeated items other than the macaroon dress. Many of those items I owned previously to the macaroon dress and just styled in a way that was inspired by Harajuku.

Most of those items were sourced from in and around Brisbane. Some were from local businesses (like the macaroon dress and some of the hair clips), some were from fast fashion stores (before I knew better), and some were second-hand from op shops or friends. I doubt any of these items exceeded $50, and when I was starting out I focused more on small and cheap items found in op shops and accessory stores. I also still dressed “normal” most of the time since I couldn’t afford much cute clothing. Over the course of 8-10 months though, I had collected enough cute clothing to wear to university almost every day, and now I have an entire kawaii wardrobe.

It takes time, and it takes patience. Don’t let your lust for the destination spoil your love for the journey.

2. Have a freaking budget!

Like I said in Point 1, I focused on cheaper, more accessible items, and because of that, it was easy to spend all of my disposable income as soon as I had it on fashion and other recreational pursuits. “I just got a pay check of $60, so now I can by like ten new things from the suitcase rummage.” Not to mention that am fortunate to have few “adulting” expenses and most of them are covered by my Youth Allowance. In my mind, as long as I had money for travel and board and anything else I needed at the time, I could spend the rest of my money and be restricted only by how much I had. Eventually I decided that just because I was lucky enough to have so few expenses and had so few financial consequences to face, it didn’t mean I should spend all my money on immediately available  pleasures instead of saving up for something I wanted or needed more. Now I have three new savings accounts and while I don’t have a proper budget for my fashion at this point, I have resolved to reduce my spending until I have dealt with other financial priorities such as buying my own furniture for my family's new house.

I do have a recreational savings account called the Fashion Fund, which I hope to use to afford higher quality, more expensive items rather than “I kinda like this” items which brings us to...

3. Quality over quantity

My obsession with building a wardrobe as fast as possible with my low-yet-disposable income now leaves me wondering what my wardrobe might’ve looked like if I had saved up to purchase higher quality items that I really really wanted. I’d have less pieces, but they’d be carefully curated and well-loved, which is what every great wardrobe should be like. My chosen items would also likely have a more timeless appeal, mix and match better, as well as last for longer.

I find myself staring into a well-stocked wardrobe every day, and while I like everything in there, I only truly adore a handful of items even after decluttering. These items are typically (but not always) more expensive purchases I had to consider carefully or had wanted for a long time. These are the items I wear regularly, am willing to take special care of, and feel my best in. My Lazy Oaf cardigan, my mermaid dress, all my YRU shoes, and more.

That doesn’t mean expensive = better. I also have some inexpensive thrifted favourites that also fit the criteria outlined before, but these were items bought alongside other items that turned out to only function as wardrobe stuffing. If I was more concerned about quality over quantity, the money I used on those less loved items could’ve gone towards something special, something that fit my style more.

4. Have a narrower idea of your aesthetic (or aesthetics)

If you were to ask me to sum up my aesthetic in one word, I would say “Harajuku”. If you told me to specify which Harajuku aesthetic I like to wear, I wouldn’t be able to name only one or two. Larme kei, fairy kei, party kei, hyper-feminine, androgynous, colourful, rainbow, kawaii, pastel, fandom-related, etc. The result? A bunch of items that don’t match very well. This skirt only goes with this specific top. These shoes barely go with these three items, but nothing that matches those items match the shoes!

I know that in our community, there's going to have a bunch of people with a bunch of aesthetics, and that’s okay. My problem is that I didn’t buy things thinking they’d match a particular style. I bought them because I thought they looked cute. My “style” was so broad and touched on most of the major “cute and colourful” styles without much cohesion between them. I never intentionally got involved in such separate aesthetics, and because of that most of my items didn’t match most of my wardrobe and thus I found myself wearing the same outfits over and over again. Now I find myself wishing I had a more specific idea of my aesthetic so I had a wardrobe with hundreds of excellent outfit options. But in the mean time, how could I ever match dainty floral silk with bright and chunky rainbows?

Now if you are someone who is loyal to multiple styles, I’m not saying you have to pick only one and stick to it. As long as you know each of your aesthetics well and don’t just dress and buy for some vague idea of an aesthetic, you should be fine.

5. Think carefully about each addition to your wardrobe

I should clarify that that “thinking" and thinking carefully are two different things. You might see an item you like and “think” it fits your style and “think” you’d totally wear it and “think” its worth buying or accepting into your wardrobe, but if you think about how you’d match it with what you already have and think about how comfortable and wearable it is and think about the time and space and money spent taking care of the item, you won’t end up with something that just sits in your wardrobe unused. You won’t pang with guilt every time you see it, and you won’t tell yourself the lie that you’ll “wear it eventually.”

My current mindset is that I should buy things that I know I’m going to get plenty of wear from. How well does this piece match my current wardrobe? How comfortable is it? When and how often would I wear this? Answer these questions in detail as they relate to your current lifestyle and your current wardrobe, and that way, with each purchase, you can be sure it’s not only what you want, but what suits you.

6. Never buy for your fantasy self

I’m going to elaborate on this in a future blogpost, but your fantasy self is essentially the person you wish you could be. Often we think that buying for our fantasy selves means that we will magically become them. This is rarely true. I remember thinking that I would totally wear a pair of glittery, silver high heels when I bought them at a suitcase rummage. After feeling sore after only a minute of wearing them, I did not become the type of person who wore high heels. I like mid heels and can walk in those just fine, but now I know to never, ever believe that I am willing to commit to a tall pair of heels. My fantasy self might’ve been able to do it, but my real self can’t, and that’s okay.

Buying for your fantasy self is a waste of money and it is going to affect your self-esteem. I sold those heels because having them took up space in my room and my mind. If I had been more realistic and thought more carefully about who I was rather than who I wanted to be, I might not have wasted money and space and mental energy on those shoes, and I probably wouldn't have done the same for several other items too.

7. The laundry can be excessive

Chances are that if you dress alternatively, you’re going to end up with a number of items that require hand-washing. This is not something you’d want to fall behind on. As I said, you want to consider items carefully before adding them to your wardrobe, and one thing to consider is how you would have to wash them. I used to be intimidated by washing delicates, and I would have clothes that would sit dirty in a plastic bag for months before I would finally get around to washing them. What changed? Those delicates were only “special occasion” garments. Lolita and the like. However, I ended up with a collection of delicates I wanted to wear on a regular basis, and now washing them is a weekly task.

Another laundry issue to be had is that if you have a lot of clothes, it's easy to let your clothes build up into a mountain that can’t be done in one wash, and if you’re fighting for the washing machine and dryer with your housemates or family, you know it’s not all going to be done in one day.  Hence why you need to stay on top of it all.

8. Don’t be afraid to mess up

Create first, and edit later. This is as true for making outfits as it is for any other art form. One of the things I love about some Harajuku styles is how okay it is to be unique and out there without necessarily being “put together”. It isn’t like this for all styles of course (e.g. Lolita) but for something like Decora you can just do your best and people will love you because they care more about your shared love of the fashion and how you embody the clothes than how good the outfit actually is.

At my first Harajuku fashion walk, I made a number of Facebook friends who I got to meet at the next year’s fashion walk. During that year between the walks, they saw my outfits as I posted them on Facebook and at the second fashion walk they told me how much I had improved. Your community will enjoy seeing your experimental beginning, and they’ll enjoy watching your journey. If anyone tries to criticise you unsolicited, they’re ultimately hurting alternative fashion subcultures more than they’re helping because discouraging the newbies means there won’t be any way for the subculture to grow and continue.

I’ve been dressing alternatively for over two years now, and I still don’t get things perfect, but creativity and fun and enjoyment are leagues more important than perfection, so just do what makes you happy and feel good.

If you’re curious about or new to alternative fashion, I hope this post has provided some useful lessons. If you’re an alternative fashion veteran, hopefully you can relate. If you have any wisdom of your own, or have any questions about the alternative fashion experience, please comment below and tell me what you thought of this blogpost. If you want more, expect a new post every Saturday.

Have fun, fellow fashion lovers!


If you liked this article, you might also enjoy '6 Things Kawaii Lifestylers Can Learn From Minimalism'.

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Question of the Week: What's something you wish you knew before you started wearing alternative fashion? Comment below or tell me your answer on social media.

Updated 11 January 2021. Article photo was swapped out for one that didn't include the prison pose.