How to Find Your Style - Alternative Fashion Veteran Edition

It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been dressing alternatively, because everyone has moments when they question their style. This can be really confusing and difficult to figure out, which could lead to remorseful purchases and/or boxing yourself into a particular set of rules. I get it, I’ve been there. Quite recently too. Learning about minimalism and sustainability made me question my own style and consumer habits. Was most of my wardrobe just made from what was convenient and affordable? How many of the pieces do I actually love? How many do I wear? What even is my style anymore?

Due to a lengthy and time-consuming commitment, I had to put dealing with this style crisis on hold, but having months to think about the problem rather than rushing to solve it taught me a few tips that I think would be beneficial to anyone experiencing similar confusion.

Don’t jump straight into mood boards.

Most ‘How to Find Your Style’ advice begins with creating a mood board or Pinterest board of what you want your style to be, but I don’t think it’s helpful to start with, especially for people wearing alternative fashion. The reason why is because while someone with a “normal” style can usually find similar stuff on their Pinterest boards at shops in their own city or for cheap online, it’s easy for someone who wears or wants to wear alternative fashion to get too ambitious. One of my biggest mistakes when I was just starting out was wanting so badly to look like the people who had been in decora, fairy kei, lolita, and other styles for years, but somehow that never worked out for me. Pinterests boards are great for what you might want your style to be eventually, but it’ll take you a long time to get there, and you’ll probably change your mind at some point. You should be able to reconcile your style with what you already have and can currently afford and access. Making Pinterest boards of brand outfits isn’t going to help you realise your limitations and work within them. If you do choose to go for Pinterest boards though, maybe try focusing on aesthetic pictures that aren't necessarily of outfits and clothing.

Which outfits have you worn recently that you really love?

My first recommendation to someone who has been dressing alternatively but feels lost with their style is to start with what they already have and what they're already doing. I might be opposed to mood boards and Pinterest boards with other people’s coords in the beginning, but I think that creating a mood board of your favourite outfits that you wore yourself is a great starting point. From there, you can start to notice some commonalities. For example, here’s a moodboard I created a few months ago using my favourite outfits from the 2018:

  From this mood board, I observed the following:

• I enjoy dancing back and forth along the line between pastel hyper-femininity and colourful androgyny.
• Hair clip bow ties are a signature of mine.
• I take a lot of influence from decora and party kei.
• I enjoy pieces I can create several outfits from far more than I enjoy pieces that can only be worn one or two ways.
• I love my thrifted baseball cap too much and should probably get another one (which I did but it didn’t fit).
• I adore rainbows and shiny things.

The most enlightening part of this process, however, was what wasn’t included in the moodboard. Turns out I wasn’t as interested in princess-like styles and fairy kei as much as I thought. My style wasn’t as consistently feminine as I had assumed for so long, nor was I as interested in decora or dressing OTT without an ocassion anymore. This exercise helped me separate who I really am from who I want to be or thought I should be, and hopefully it will do the same for you.

Experiment with new styles you like using only what you already have and/or can borrow.

This advice might not work for everyone, depending on how different the style you want to try wearing and the style you already have stocked in your closet might be, but if you want to try wearing a style that shares some similarities or components with what you already have, then go for it. Consider this a trial period. What’s important to remember though is that the quality of the outfits doesn’t matter. What does matter is how this style makes you feel. For example, are you happier wearing pastel goth than you were wearing fairy kei, even if your outfit is a plain pastel top, some black leggings, and some black lipstick? If so, then you can be sure of yourself as you venture into your new aesthetic.

Buy a few nice pieces to experiment with.

If you want to try a new style but you’re missing a few key staples to pull it off, feel free to purchase them. While I always preach “Use what you have” above all else, you also can’t exactly use something you don’t have. Returning to the fairy-kei-to-pastel-goth example, you might not have any black in your closet, but you might have several pastel basics. If you were to buy a pair of black boots and a black lipstick, you could easily experiment with those pieces by combining them with various pastel basics. If you find yourself liking the style, you could invest in a pastel goth statement piece the next time around. Every purchase for your new style should mesh with what you already have as much as possible, if possible. Otherwise you’ll risk having a few pieces that you can’t wear until you finally obtain things to match it.

Declutter your closet.

This might sound strange, but I think this might be one of the most important points on the list. I said in my last blogpost that "Decluttering [is] like stone statue-making; you’re chipping away everything you’re not to find who you really are.” If you look in your wardrobe, you might see a number of things that you don’t wear or don’t like that much, but you wear when everything else is in the wash. I want you to try removing those items from your closet and putting them somewhere safe. You don’t have to get rid of them yet, but it’s important to see what’s left once you’ve completed that task. You should now only have an alternative wardrobe filled with stuff that you love and wear.

I hope that any of you alternative veterans out there found this post useful. I tried to focus on tips that would be quick, easy, and inexpensive to implement. I also want these tips to work with the evolutionary nature of style. I used to always picture an “end goal” of sorts for my style; an imaginary future in which I looked how I wanted to look and owned everything I wanted to own. These tips helped me overcome those “fantasies”, because they were a distraction from my style in that present. I want you to appreciate the transition as much or more than the end transformation, because that will guarantee a richer fashion experience and style.

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Finally, if you enjoyed this article, you might also enjoy '6 Tips to Declutter Your Wardrobe'.

Question of the Week: What's your style like right now, and how are you hoping to change it? Let me know in the comments below or on social media.