The Unending Guilt of the Sustainable Fashion Activist (+Survey)

Fanart by @eclecticlunarhop on Instagram.

There are so many things I love to wear or would love to do that aren’t good for the environment. I would love to add more glittery things to my wardrobe, but glitter is a micro-plastic. I would love to bleach my hair, but bleach poisons the earth. I would love to buy a pair of Irregular Choice shoes, but they often use leather and other non-eco-friendly materials. I want to support my friends' businesses, but I don’t know the hands that make their clothes.

I love things that are plastic, artificial, and bad for the Earth. I also love the Earth.

Isn’t it ironic that the people who feel the most guilty about their environmental impact are the ones doing their best to reduce it, while others get to consume and consume without feeling the weight of a dying world every single day? Isn’t it ironic that even though it’s not my fault that fast fashion companies are violating human rights every single day, I still feel personally responsible for a worker’s suffering? Isn’t it ironic that even though large companies are the main culprits for the rapid pollution that is slowly killing everyone and everything, I think that I’m the problem if I have to use or toss out single use packaging?

I constantly feel like I’m not doing enough activism to save the planet. I run this blog where I share advice and resources, I run a Facebook group where we can learn about sustainable alternative fashion and connect as a community, I uplift my fellow activists, I sign petitions, I raise awareness on my social platforms, and I still feel like it’s not enough. I wanted to attend a climate change protest, but I had something due. I wanted to attend an anti-ADANI protest, but I had something due. I want to do more action in my local community, but I’ve overcommitted myself and can’t afford to squeeze it into my schedule at the moment.

I’m always comparing myself to other sustainable influencers, the ones who aren’t kawaii or alternative like me. They don’t yearn for glitter or pastel hair or rainbows like I do. They enjoy things that look simple and natural and normal and it is so easy to find sustainable options that work for them but there are often no sustainable options that work for me.

Am I selfish for insisting that I wear my preferred style even though it’s not the most sustainable style? Is it selfish that I’m putting what makes me happy over doing just a little more for the environment and the people who make my clothes? Will people judge me if I need a new pair of shoes and I choose a pair from an unsustainable brand that I know I’ll wear for a long time? I know that if I dress like the sustainable fashion influencers I admire, I won’t be happy. I’ll fade into the background and I won’t be nearly as motivated to fight the fight as I am now.

I fight for sustainable fashion because I’m fighting for kawaii and alternative fashion. The fact that there is so little overlap between the two means that someone needs to bring the them together. I'm not the first to do so, and I'm not the last, but I am here and I am doing my part. By bringing together sustainable fashion and kawaii lifestyle, I stand out in both spaces and my voice is magnified. By insisting that I stick with the style that has given me so much strength, I have changed minds, fostered communities, and inspired others to also be kinder to the planet and the people who make my clothes. If I dye my hair a pastel colour, it could start a conversation about who I am and what I do that could lead them to rethinking their purchases. If I hear someone remark how they could never afford my sparkly shoes because they’re always spending money on things they don’t need, I could tell them about how a slow fashion mindset helped me afford my shoes on a low income.

Even if my style isn’t the most sustainable, even if the bleach of my hair poisons the Earth and the glitter of my accessories are washed into oceans and the dyes and pesticides of my clothes pollute the water, the confidence they give me will inspire me to reduce how much waste I use and how many people suffer my clothes. They give me the confidence to march at protests, to support charities, to write and share resources, to ask brands #whomademyclothes, and to unite my fellow kawaii fashion lovers so we can demand that our slice of the industry also does better.

I am a fashion activist because I am a lover of kawaii fashion. I believe that if kindness is a kawaii trait, what could be more kawaii than showing kindness to the planet and the people who make our clothes?


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