Anxiety and Alternative Fashion - How Did I Overcome It?

I once had a wardrobe too large to make me happy and it looked like this.

If you’re a kawaii fashionista, you’ve probably experienced the following:

• You feel disappointed that you can’t afford all the things you want.
• You’re jealous of other people’s wardrobes.
• You wish your style was like someone else’s.
• You feel pressure to always look good.
• You often felt like you have nothing to wear.

I’ve been in those situations, and they all cause anxiety. It’s something I’ve rarely seen discussed in depth in our community. This is unfortunate because it is so important! Harajuku fashion can and does cause anxiety and self-esteem issues, and we need to discuss how we as a community can reduce or prevent it. I’ll start by explaining how I managed to overcome it, or at least reduce it. I’ll also explain why its coming back as well.

Disclaimer: Please note that this is my personal experience about how my fashion has caused me mild yet frequent anxiety. Even though my anxieties related to fashion aren’t that severe (i.e. I’ve never had an anxiety attack over something fashion-related), I still think it’s worth discussing.

I remember when I was still fairly new to the fashion, I spent far too much time window shopping online stores, creating outfits with the items, then calculating the total and feeling like crap because I knew I could never afford these things due to my lack of income. I also live in Brisbane, which doesn’t have a Harajuku district or a Lazy Oaf or Irregular Choice or Angelic Pretty store or any other prestigious kawaii brand. Lame huh?

Not quite. I might not have been able to afford expensive brands and expensive shipping, but it did end up heavily influencing my style in a very positive way. One of the best things I ever learned as a kawaii fashion lover was that limitations force creativity. Brisbane might not have any big names or big communities, but it does have some of my favourite local brands and events. I realised that I could create a unique style based on what I found second-hand or from my local small businesses (and even fast fashion stores but this was before I knew better). Another great thing was that I wasn’t afraid to experiment. Eventually my income improved and I was able to purchase more expensive things, though I still turned to whatever was local most of the time.

Though even though I was able to reduce my “alternative anxieties” by appreciating more of what was around me, I find myself at a point that is similar, but different to the wardrobe anxieties I’ve felt in the past. I’m currently undergoing a transformation, and that includes questioning my style. For all my time dressing alternatively, I have dabbled in multiple styles from lolita to decora to fairy kei to party kei to a bit of larme kei. Basically if I found something I thought was cute, affordable, and the right size, I’d buy it. Now I have a wardrobe full of things that don’t match each other as well as I’d like. Ironically I feel restricted by the diversity of styles in my closet, and not because I care about the rules of the fashion styles, but because they just don’t look good together. I think my heart wants me to be a little more androgynous and a lot more Party Kei, but is that just because I’m obsessed with Pixielocks? What if I eventually find myself trapped in that style and want out? Identity crisis ensues.

Let’s consider some of my other anxieties surrounding my style, shall we?

• I want to dress more sustainably, but if I want to continue buying and dressing kawaii, I have to live with the conflict that it will never be as sustainable as other less kawaii options.
• Changing one’s style is expensive, and I have other financial priorities.
• I’m overwhelmed by my wardrobe and still don’t know what to keep and what to donate or sell. i.e. If I remove this item, I won’t have anything to match this item. Oh the horror!
• My family and I are moving house so now isn’t a good time to bring anything new into the household.
• I pressure myself to keep coming up with new and interesting outfits, but because of the lack of versatility in my wardrobe, I’m often wearing the same outfits over and over.

Now I would rather end on a positive note, so here are some things I am currently doing to combat this anxiety and solve the problem:

• I’m taking a step back from buying fashion to save for my priorities as well as save up a fashion fund so that when I’m ready to buy clothes again, I’ll have the money to do so comfortably.
• I’m pacing myself when it comes to decluttering so I have time to find my style and learn what it really is I want to keep.
• I lay out my clothes for the next day each night so I don’t have to deal with the intimidating “What do I wear?” question every morning.
• I’ve given up fast fashion and I’m resolving to buy second hand whenever possible. If I want to buy new, it has to be from a small business, sustainable brands (H&M doesn’t count no matter how many “pledges” they make), or a brand that makes high quality items that can last for years so I’m not having to replace anything.
• When I repeat an outfit, I like to make one small tweak like different shoes, earrings, or socks.

It’s going to take some patience for me to get to a place where I’m passionate about my style again, but my priority is reducing the anxiety I feel. Fashion is supposed to be fun, not stressful. Picking and wearing cute outfits should be something I look forward to each day (it still is sometimes), and that’s what it should be like for everyone else too.

These are only my personal experiences with “alternative anxiety” and I’m sure it’s different for everyone. What are your stories? Have you ever experienced anxiety related to alternative fashion? If so, how has it affected you and how have you dealt with it? Please comment and let me know. Let’s get this conversation started so we can all move towards a life with more cuteness and less stress!

 Enjoyed this post? You might also like 'Who is My Fantasy Self and How Do I Shut Her Up?'

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Question of the week: Has alternative fashion had an impact on your mental health? Comment below or tell me your answer on social media.